i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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