life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
