Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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