Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
