Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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