I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
