What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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