so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
this will be a night to untag.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
