i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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