Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize