Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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