I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
