The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize