We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
