low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize