That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize