best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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