yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So squirting runs in the family.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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