remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
