you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My vagina is very pro this idea
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
