every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize