I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
