Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
