Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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