3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
