new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize