Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
