I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
