Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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