How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
