i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
