Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
