Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
