So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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