She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I came so hard my ears popped.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
