what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
