We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
