Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
