i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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