didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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