3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
