Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
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