just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize