Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
