So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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