and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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