Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize