I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize