Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
