imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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