Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
