Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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