He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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