Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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