i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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