We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
