Need sex. Gaining weight.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
