so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
