then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
