it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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