i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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