im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
