if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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