but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
