I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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