i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
