There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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