I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
